wanita solehah

credit image to Google.com

I don't know how to describe myself. Solehah ke? Hmm.. Insha'Allah. there are  lots of 'solehah' categories. Isteri solehah, anak solehah, I am none of these categories. I wish that I could placed myself in all of the categories that I said. 

It is so untrue if I said I never hurt my parent. The fact is I was hurting them a lot, mak saya pun pernah menangis disebabkan saya. Masa abah saya masuk wad hari tu pun sehari pun saya tak jenguk dia. I spent my time with friends jalan2 hang out at night. Ya Allah terrible me! Saya just call nak tau keadaan abah saya. Saya takut nak balik untuk tengok how worst my daddy was. Saya takut saya tak boleh study. Dan saya akui lah saya bukan anak yang kuat. Saya called hari2, kadang2 saya berbual dengan abah. Untuk hilangkan boring dia kat wad. Ya Allah. What was on my mind. Stupid me.

Saya risau one day saya akan hilang orang2 yang saya sayang. so much! I've been surrounded by such a great peoples, I won't lose them all. Family saya is the best thing happened to me. Tak nak tengok saya sedih. I still remembered the day I was caught in a middle of fight with my bf, I cried all day and my mom asked me why. I normally didn't sharing my personal things with my mom,  so i didn't tell her what was going on between me and him. Saya tak share sebab saya taknak dia risau pasal saya, dan bf saya pun bukannya bermasalah sangat. And one thing, hari tu punya masalah antara kitorang disebabkan saya. Mom told me to be loyal, behave in everything. Tapi saya tak buat. So saya malu nak bagitau dia. Isk.

See how much she loved me. bukan saya tak tau. Hmm. Entahlah. Kesian parent saya kalau saya tak berjaya jadi anak solehah. At least saya kena tunaikan apa yang saya mampu. Saya janji saya cuba.

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